What to do when children fight: Five Guidelines

Parents usually fail to intervene in escalated sibling conflict, according to a study recently published in “Developmental Psychology,” even though they think they should intervene. And this lack of parental action often results in life-long psychological problems, often severe, especially for the younger children who were victimized.

Here’s how parents can help:

  1. AVOID TAKING SIDES, because it may spur feelings of jealousy or increased hostility.
  2. ACKNOWLEDGE children’s feelings, encouraging them to learn to communicate with one another.
  3. SUGGEST ways that children might learn how to solve problems independently.
  4. DON’T PUNISH children without an explanation – and don’t threaten them.
  5. SET LIMITS by clearly identifying the types of behavior that are not acceptable.

(Laurie Kramer,in “Developmental Psychology”)

Advertisements

Ignorance

Knowledge is the spirit that saves the heart from ignorance. – Abu Ali Thaqafi

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. – Derek Bok

Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance. – Confucius

Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.  – Will Durant

If in the darkness of ignorance, you don’t recognize a person’s true nature, look to see whom he has chosen for his leader. – Rumi Mathnawi

Seize the moment of excited curiosity on any subject to solve your doubts; for if you let it pass, the desire may never return, and you may remain in ignorance. – William Wirt

There is no poverty worse than ignorance, and no wealth more useful than reason.  – Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w)

Great sayings on asking Questions

A major stimulant to creative thinking is focused questions. There is something about a well-worded question that often penetrates to the heart of the matter and triggers new ideas and insights.  (Brian Tracy)

The art and science of asking questions is the source of all knowledge. (Thomas Berger)

Successful people ask better questions, and as a result, they get better answers. (Anthony Robbins)

The uncreative mind can spot wrong answers, but it takes a very creative mind to spot wrong questions. (Anthony Jay)

For true success ask yourself these four questions: Why? Why not? Why not me? Why not now? (James Allen)

The gist of Islamic Law

According to Abu Daud these four Sayings of The Prophet (pbuh) contain the summary of Islamic law.

  • Actions will be judged according to intentions.
  • The proof of a Muslim’s sincerity is that he payeth no heed to that
    which is not his business.
  • No man is a true believer unless he desires for his brother that which
    he desires for himself.
  • That which is lawful is clear, and that which is unlawful likewise, but
    there are certain doubtful things between the two from which it is well to
    abstain.

From The Wisdom Fund

Will you upgrade yourself?

If you walked into a room full of people smoking and stayed just a little while, you’d end up smelling like you’d been smoking too. The fumes would have seeped into your clothing and only a trip to the dry cleaners could get the odor out. Your personal operating system – your head, heart and hands – is a lot like that. Every day thousands of messages are sent to your system and make their way into its core. Whether you realize it or not, you are picking up information from everyone you come into contact with. Both positive and negative data is being downloaded into your system, and it sticks around for a long time.

I wonder what is seeping into your system these days? What might be causing it to stall instead of operating at optimal level? Or, what has been causing your system to run better and faster lately? What might you be storing in your system’s file that is holding you back? Or, what have you filed away that is suddenly allowing you to move forward? Could it be time to examine your system more closely, delete the trash and clean off the desktop?

Lately, I’m sure you’ve been spammed constantly by messages of recession-recession. If you repeat the message – let it bleed into your system – then you begin to believe it, which in turn creates behaviors that slow your operating system down.

If I hear one more person tell me that we are in a recession, business is slow blah – blah, I think I am going to scream! I want to yell back at them and say: How do you know? Who told you so? Do you believe everything that you hear? It was Richard Nixon who said, “A recession is anytime people lose confidence in the future.” So even if it is true, no one can stop you but you. I don’t sit around waiting for someone or something to tell me what my future is going to be. I create it. I suggest you do the same. This so-called recession could be a golden opportunity for you to go for it.

As you know, Microsoft introduced Vista, an upgrade from XP. If you and your company intend to be relevant, competitive, and on the cutting edge in this global economy then you, too, need to upgrade or be left in the dust. As you step back and think about this from a few different angles, you have actually been upgrading all of your life.

Your parents enrolled you in school, and you were upgraded from elementary to middle school, high school to college, and sometimes, college to graduate school. Every upgrade required a shift in thinking and perspective. With each change, your system received new information that you continue to use to this day.

Through the years, perhaps you’ve upgraded your job. You may have gone from being an hourly worker to a salaried employee. Maybe you’ve been promoted, or upgraded, to the role of supervisor, manager or head honcho. Passengers have the option to upgrade from coach to business or first class when they fly. Look at your cell phone. How many times have you upgraded it to enjoy the latest features? Whatever the case may be, your system is very familiar with upgrades.

At this time in history (a time of great opportunity, I am sure), I invite you to upgrade your own operating system. Here are some thoughts:

Upgrade by Synthesizing information. Chris Sessums said it best, “Pull together information from multiple sources, evaluate its reliability and value, and construct a new picture of the world.” What you feed your mind will happen in time.

Upgrade your Relationships. It has often been said that birds of the same feather flock together. Well, here is a 21st-century spin on that concept: they flock together and fly to the same place. Where is the flock that you associate with on a regular basis headed? And do you really want to go there? Every relationship waters the garden of your mind.

Upgrade your Personal Brand. When you hear someone’s name, what comes to mind? What do you think people say when they hear your name? Your reputation is your brand. You are remembered for the things you do and the impact you make. What are you known for and what is your core expertise? What differentiates you in the market place? Determine now where you want to go and who you want to be. If you don’t, then someone will do it for you. Every action you take is building reputation capital.

Every day is an opportunity to upgrade or downgrade your system. I think you know which one has value over long term.

(Writer Unknown)

ps: one of those recycled mails circling around, but it makes me think, so…

Random Quotes #01

My friend, if I could give you one thing, I would give you the ability to see yourself as others see you… then you would realize what a truly special person you are. (Barbara A. Billings)

Ah well! I am their leader, I really ought to follow them!  (Alexandre Auguste Ledru-Rollin)

Successful and unsuccessful people do not vary greatly in their abilities. They vary in their desires to reach their potential. (John Maxwell)

Bravery is the capacity to perform properly even when scared half to death. (General Omar Nelson Bradley)

Don’t be afraid of opposition. Remember, a kite rises against; not with; the wind. (Hamilton Mabie)

Seven sins of life: Politics without principle. Commerce without morality. Wealth without work. Education without character. Science without humanity. Pleasure without conscience. Worship without sacrifice. (Mahatma Gandhi)

Never ever let go of your dreams

Karen Morris realized she wanted to become a doctor at the age of 15. Unfortunately, a year later she became pregnant which put the dream on hold. She finally finished school, got married, had 5 children, and ran her own beauty salon. A medical degree seemed out of the question then. She eventually decided to become a nurse but the itch to become a doctor never went away. In nursing school, she juggled her studies with a full-time job, raising the children – and a failed marriage.

Finally, when her youngest children were teenagers, Karen made the decision to pursue her lifelong dream of becoming a doctor. She said firmly, “I don’t want to be 80 years old, look back at my life, and say – what if? At the same time, I thought everyone would think I was crazy,” she said. “I was 38, had five kids, who wouldn’t think I was crazy?”

.
In 2003, Karen enrolled into the prestigious Yale School of Medicine. The path towards realizing her dream was however not an easy one. While at Yale, Karen had financial problems even though she was working as a nurse, part time. A medical degree is a very tough course and Karen had difficulties juggling classes with her part time job, assignments, competing and interacting with younger course mates etc. She recalls that she couldn’t have handled it all if not for the assistance of her children, who gave her moral and financial support all the time. At the same time, she never, ever wavered from her commitment of becoming a doctor. And this she says was what gave her energy when things got difficult and stressful.

Finally, in June 2007, in spite of all the obstacles and challenges, the 45-year-old mother of five and grandmother of two, graduated as a doctor from the prestigious Yale School of Medicine – the first ever grandmother to do so. What an awesome achievement!!!

If there is one lesson that we can take from all this, it is that we must never, ever let go of our dreams. There will be problems, the usual naysayers, the never ending challenges, but if we truly believe in what we want and make a commitment, then there will always be a great chance that we will be able to achieve it, just like Karen Morris! So just go out there, be a little ‘crazy’ and take decisive action to make all your dreams come true!!!